Labourless Lens

Yes, I am currently a statistic to the country's official unemployment rate.
Yippe! 1 up for Labourless Lens!



Past few weeks have been hectic. Wrapping up projects and all.
Seems that I had more work to do when I was about to leave than when I was working.
Anyway, went to visit my parents last weekend.
Spent some time with them and catch some well deserved R&R.
Had a good time and manage to squeeze in some to convert one of my jottings on my initial arrival to NZ.

Also, I manage to recollect a past experience. This one is real exciting; well to me anyway.
Will post that after I fine tune it. :)

Life and how to live - Randy Pausch

I always wanted to write about this guy. Saw his video last year and I was inspired.
Most refer to this video as the "Last Lecture", but if you listen closely, the lecture is about Life and How to Live.

In this video, he shares his life with us and how he has lived it. And more importantly, he enlightens us with his perspectives on the things that really matters in life. These are the intangible moments which makes people feel good and gratified. We can learn alot on how to live from a guy whos is going to die. I am no exception to that fact. We can all learn a thing or two from this guy.

Have a watch of the "Life and how to live" video. This is a summarised version from Oprah.



If you have the time, should watch the full version which is about 80 mins long. And there was a really emotional moment in there. You can find the full version here.

Adult Things...

I just decided to do the adult thing and look into buying things which I Need rather what I Wanted.

I wanted a nice long holiday, travelling in central europe.
Still am really keen on it. Oh, how I wanted that. To go gallivanting in Prague. I even looked for theatre performances in Prague.

However, my more mature side told me I needed something more staple and closer to home. I needed a nice bed, and to furnish my home with nice curtains. My bed was a hand me down from my brother in 2000. And my house has DIY curtains which looks awful. Time to upgrade and buy.

Am looking into it, and goodness! It costs a bomb to get a relatively nice bed and a set of curtains.

Who'd think that I would get this domesticated and look at beds and curtains. Its been long overdue, hence I need to look into it.

Hmm... after this purchase, maybe I will save up and go for things I want next year. :P (*Still hopeful ;P *)

This is gonna hurt!

Manage to post another jotting from my past. Talks about catalyst and their part in our lives.
Had a read of it and reflected it upon some recent experiences. It has been a couple of years when I wrote this. Since then, I have journeyed long and learned a lot.

Catalysts still manifest itself before me and still manage to occasionally stir emotional turmoil within me.
And am especially thankful that there are those who still remain steadfast with me.

However, at this juncture, I have progressed much from my previous perspectives.

Before I cursed at hurtful catalysts and vowed to cast the wounded memories into pits of my mental crypt; never to let them resurface for the fear it may trigger some emotional response which may lead me into a feeble path.
I amplified my logical self to subdue my emotional sensitivities and built towering walls to seclude my emotions from harm, hate and despair.

Oh, how I deluded myself.
Deluded myself into thinking that emotional suppression was the solution to stay strong, impregnable and grow.

Goodness! I am sorely mistaken.
The walls shielded me momentarily.
Truth be told, the walls were far more damaging than I thought.
The walls inhibited my growth.
Like a pampered child, I only allowed myself to stumble upon areas with minimal exposure to harm, hate and despair.
And this hindered my ability to manage authentic experiences; especially to those exceptional catalyst who managed to break or was unknowing led thru the walls.
It was grueling to stay focused, calm and composed to say the least.

I now accept that building walls, shielding and secluding is not the solution.
It has made me weaker instead.
Over time, I found myself amplifying my need on steadfast support, and
spiraled around topics which weren’t addressed; for they lay “safe” within the confines of my impregnable wall.
I only manage to resolve the symptoms, where its pristine core was left free to cast more mayhem upon me.

Now, I find myself faced with a multitude of catalysts.
As though there was a global catalyst convention somewhere around the vicinity.
Each bringing their unique manner to infuse similar messages to me,
“Time for Change!”
“ Change!”
“ Change!”
“ Change!”

Pondering on the topic of catalysts once more, like a double edge sword, they are both good and bad depending how you perceive it.
They will bring tough lessons which makes it hard to digest
And though we want to regurgitate it out, it will be beneficial to us in the end as the lessons we learn are priceless and it readies us for better things to come; grueling at times as it may seem.

In retrospect,
I need to change and address my issues.

Time to drop the drawbridge and let the emotional side of me explore the kaleidoscope of emotions and ascertain the essential lessons each and every experience offers.
Time to address my fears and insecurities.
Time to heal and recover.
Time for self rediscovery.

Time to start digging up my mental crypt and expose it to some sunlight.
Ouch! This is gonna hurt! ;D

Fragile....

Life is soo fragile.
Just got to know that a friend has suddenly passed away.
Sudden because not so long ago, a group of us had lunch and
he was filled with vitality.

Today I learned that he went for a holiday and contracted some deadly bacteria and passed away a week later.

I sit here feeling numb as I reflect upon life in general.
Here today, gone the next.
Somehow whatever my troubles and bickerings seem so trivial.

This friend leaves behind a family.
My heart felt condolence to them.
I cannot imagine the turmoil the family is going through.
While I can relate to this because of my granmother's passing last 2 years,
I am unable to comprehend the suddeness of this passing; especially for his family.
For me, I had the opportunity to tell grandma that I love her, talk to grandma, make her happy during her remaining days, to prepare and ready myself.

This sudden passing offers his family and loved ones no opportunity to express any last messages.
So much would have left unsaid, and the agony is to carry that through the rest of one's life.
How agonizing.

Feeling powerless... I can only offer my condolences to his wife, kid and family. :(
Rest in peace my friend.
Will pray for your family.