...Continuing on........

Trickle,
....Trickle,
........Trickle,
Little beads of sweat fall down from my face.

Red
....White
............Pale
Fists clenched ever so tightly.


Pulse,
....Throb,
........Pound!
Racing heartbeats surging anxiety through my veins.

This is not another bungy jump.
Nor was this another fix for the adrenaline junkie.
This was my attempt of letting go of my addictions which I held on so obsessively and excessively.

Allowing the inexperienced me take charge and roam free.
Giving dominance to the adolescent to command this behemoth.
Recent situations found me flung around, chewed, battered and bashed like a ragdoll toy in the jaws of a playful and aggressive puppy.
Left, right, forward, back, up, down, round and round.
Indecisive decisions, unfocused directions and unsettled emotions.
I am tumbling within.
And as expected, the inexperience shows.
This process however; much to my displeasure, is needed.
Otherwise, I stand to face fading passions like cinder ash from a once burning flame.

And though a part of me tries frantically to brace the impacts,
The immense unbridled changes make it arduous to cope with.
Optimism and pessimism switches indecisively like a spinning coin displaying both heads and tails incessantly....

All this as much I can comprehend, augurs a long period of transition.
The catalyst has emerged.
Valuable lessons are learnt.
Factual circumstances are accepted.
Ardours resolutions are set in motion.

All that was owed from a previous life, has been are paid in full. (I hope)
I am exhausted... mentally, psychologically and emotionally....
The inexperienced has benefitted from this excursion;
And in return, gained some composure.
This is the end of a pursuit.
Which I pray I am able lay to rest.

What is about to emerge remains to be tested.
Praying relentlessly for the transition to be absolute, at least for this chapter,
so the next can come forth, commence and re-ingnite the burning flames of my cindered ash passions...